


Two

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angst, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Feels, Grief, Hurt Kíli, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Post BoFA, Sadness, helpful tauriel, kiliel - Freeform, savious tauriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 01:33:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tauriel finds Kili after the battle, barely alive.</p><p>She has no choice but to save him again.</p><p>Cue many feelings, love declarations and survivor's guilt. </p><p>Kiliel - very.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two

She found Kili unconscious on top of some dead bodies. He was dirty, sword fallen near his hand, bleeding, still bleeding. He was bleeding so much – the blood covered his clothes, his arms, his hands. The blood came mainly from three big wounds – one in the chest and two in the abdomen. He wasn’t moving.

It was horrible.

Tauriel knelt in front of him, terrified, to try and find a pulse. It looked like she was already too late. NO. He had to be alive, there had already been too much death. Fortunately, she did find a pulse, even if it was weak. He wouldn’t last long. The dwarf had only hours left to live unless she did something. After being shaken by the initial wave of horror and grief she put herself together and started working.

She was going to change his fate. They thought Kili was going to die – well, they hadn’t taken her into account. Tauriel was there, she’d gone back into the battlefield for him and she wasn’t going to let him die. No way. He would live.

The first thing she did was bind his biggest wounds, stop the bleeding. _No blood-loss death for you, boy. Not while I’m here._ She took him in her arms and ran to the place where her horse was, with all her weapons and supplies.

She had brought some healing supplies, salves and plants to help the injured. It was a good thing that she had. She applied some of them on his wounds when they reached the horse to try and improve his chances, while chanting. She would do it all the times that she needed to – if she had to save his life one thousand times she would do it, gladly. But while she breathed so would he. He was her dwarf, her damsel in distress and she felt the duty of watching over him. Specially now that he had no one else left.

She caressed his dirty bloodied face with one of her hands.

“I’m sorry for all the grief… But you will live, my beloved.”

When she had him relatively stabilized she carefully sat him on the horse and sat directly behind him, holding his chest. He hadn’t woken since she found him, hadn’t made a sound, hadn’t moved.

As she went back to Mirkwood on the horse, tears flew down her face. It had been so horrible, all of it. So much death, so much agony, so much destruction and darkness. Everything.

When she reached her home the people of Mirkwood gave her strange looks, seeing that she had a passenger in her horse. Yet no one dared to stop her or question why there was a dwarf with her. They knew where she came from and they knew it was better not to ask. Better not to know – it would only give them nightmares.

When she arrived at her place, she carefuly took Kili in her arms again and lay him on her soft bed. She took his blood-soaked shirt and pants off and started working on his minor injuries, cuts and bruises. She cleaned him with warm perfumed water, with all the softness in the world. _Leave all the reminders of that horrible battle behind. You are safe now, you are safe with me. You won’t be harmed anymore._

When she finished, she dressed him in a blue silk tunic (smaller than most, and acquired in the hopes that sometime he would come visiting- she had always imagined a happier situation) and softly kissed him on his forehead. She cleaned herself then, changed her clothes and lay on the bed next to her fallen prince.

She stayed there, in silence.

Just watching him.

Marveling at the rise and fall of his chest. The blackness of his hair. The roughness of his hands, the wounds everywhere marring the skin. He was alive, alive despite everything. He was there with her. He was breathing. She could have lost him, if she had only arrived a couple of hours later, if she had paid attention to the people telling her not to go back, that she would only find dead bodies. But she had returned.

Kili was fated to die, but they had cheated fate.

She had.

She shouldn’t have gotten attached, shouldn’t feel what she felt for Kili. She should have remained helpful but distant, shouldn’t have returned the dwarf’s feelings. But she had and that was why after everything had happened she had gone back to look for him amongst the bodies. It had changed everything. They had changed everything.

Together.

She spent some hours like that, next to him, just watching him breathing, watching him being alive. He was so beautiful – the thought of never seeing him again was almost unbearable for Tauriel. Then she fell asleep, exhausted, with her hand on his. Hoping that her presence would bring him strength to recover, some sort of comfort.

She woke up the next day and he was still unconscious. He had a fever, even if none of the wounds were infected. Probably just his body’s way of coping with the massive effort of healing such grievous injuries. She spent another hour healing him and then waited.

And waited.

It was at nightfall when his eyes finally started opening.

“Am…. Am I dead?” He said, looking around, trying to focus his blurry sight.

“No, you are not. I found you and took you to Mirkwood. This is my home.”

“Ta- Tauriel?”

“Yes, it is me. I am here, by your side.”

“You saved me… again.”

“Always.”

His eyes closed again. Kili didn’t remember much of what had happened but the battle was over. Tauriel was all right and with him. He went to sleep much calmer.

When he came round again, he stayed for a while with his eyes closed, simply enjoying the softness surrounding him (the sheets were so soft and warm) and the hand of someone entwined with his. And then he remembered – Tauriel. Tauriel had taken him to her home and healed his wounds. He felt a bit sore and completely drained, but he wasn’t in pain, what was nothing short of a miracle. His chest and stomach felt a bit numb – probably some painkiller his savior had applied. He wondered what could had he done to deserve such a blessing. He fell asleep again.

He dreamt about battle, about enemies and swords and death. Oh, yes. He had seen his uncle dead – he remembered now. Thorin was no more, after all that he’d gone through to reclaim his land. What good was it now? The lands, the gold, the treasure. Kili had seen him dead. He woke up with a start, and the elf was behind him.

“Welcome back. Did you have a bad dream?” She asked, from her place next to him in the bed.

“Thorin… Thorin is dead.”

“I know. I really am sorry, Kili. He was a good man.”

“What of my brother?”

Tauriel had a look of sorrow in her eyes. She knew that she would have to talk to him about it… It was tough. She knew how close the brothers had been. Her eyes betrayed the bad news and even if she said nothing, Kili understood perfectly what had happened to his brother. His eyes were watering.

“Did you at least look for him before coming for me?”

It was so unfair. Fili was the good brother, not him. It was his brother who deserved another chance at living, who deserved to be king, who deserved everything. Not him. What good had he done? He’d stripped his brother from glory, he had worried him to no end, he had endangered him on countless occasions. And now he was dead and he lived. All because Tauriel liked him better.

“I found him shortly before I found you, but there was nothing I could to help him. I’m sorry, I was too late.”

“No!” Kili screaming.

He started weeping, crying like he’d never done before. Fili was gone. His beloved brother, his protector. His other half. He had died at the hands of the enemies, Tauriel had seen his body. His body. It was too horrible to even think about. Fili was dead. His uncle was dead. He wouldn’t be with them anymore, wouldn’t even see them anymore. Even the notion was painful. He hated it, hated it, hated it.

“If they are all gone… Why am I alive?”

“Because you were breathing when I found you. You didn’t give up and I was not going to let you.”

“I’m alone now.” He murmured.

“You will never alone while I live, that I promise you. I know I’m not your brother and I know that I will never fill the hole he and Thorin have left. But be sure of this, you are not alone.”

He looked at her with shining eyes and a face wet with tears.

“Tauriel…”

“I know that is difficult, love, I know. Your life has changed very much and you have lost very important people. Your life from now on won’t be easy, like it won’t be easy to get over the grief. But you’re strong and you can do it, we can do it, together. You have me, here for everything you need, all right?”

Kili kept crying.

“I will miss them so badly…”

“Of course you will.”

She motioned for him to go to her and he hugged her. Forcefully and cried in her chest, cried for his brother and his sunny face who he would never see again, for his stern uncle whose voice he would never hear again. And for himself. Because he had lived, and he shouldn’t have to. Because he could barely stand the sight of him. He should have died. Why hadn’t he died? He cried for a long time and when his head was pounding and he had no more tears, he looked at his companion.

“How am I supposed to live now, Tauriel?”

Life seemed impossible now. A dark well of memories and despair.

“When you think something like that I want you to remember two things, all right? Two small and simple things. The first one is that your brother would have wanted you to live, to be happy. He wouldn’t have wanted you to die, ever, or to get lost in grief and darkness. He would have wanted to have a long life, to find happiness. Isn’t that right?”

Kili nodded. Fili would have hated to see him weeping for hours, much less days. He would have wanted to see him smile, even if the thought of smiling seemed impossible now. That was true.

“What is the second thing?”

She took his face in her hands.

“The second thing is that I love you, Kili. So much… In a way in which I had never loved anyone before in my life, and my life hasn’t been short. I have lost people, too, and when I saw you unconscious on that pile of bodies… It broke my heart. I could have lost you without telling you anything, so I’m saying it now. I love you so much, Kili, you have no idea… And you haven’t lost me. I’m still here for you, for anything you need. So when you are thinking about giving up, full of despair – think of me. Think of us, Kili, and all the good days we could have together. Think of this, of how much I love you.”

“Tauriel, I…”

“I know, I know. You don’t have to say anything now. You have lost very important people to you and cannot think beyond your grief. Just stay with me. Get better. We will talk then. If you want to weep, do it, but know that you have me here, to dry the tears when you finish.”

He nodded, without any strength to do anything else. He spent many days in darkness, knee deep in grief. Crying.... wallowing in his own pain.

And then, some days later he was eating with Tauriel and told her.

“We should get away. Leave everything behind, just you and me. No more memories – a new life.”

She smiled.

“Yes, we should.”

Maybe they didn’t have many things, and obviously they would never be the same as they had been but…

They had each other. Sometimes it was enough.

Sometimes it was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it? Could be read as a prequel to my other story, An elf with a beard or as a stand-alone.
> 
> All feedback is welcome! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
